None Whatsoever

i have learned a lot by being in florida, living on my own. i have learned how to crack an egg with one hand. i have learned to...

i have learned a lot by being in florida,
living on my own.

i have learned how to crack an egg with one hand.

i have learned to budget.

i have learned to cook and eat out less.

i have learned patience with others.

i have learned that people are mean,
but the ones that aren't make it worth it.

i have learned that even though it is sweltering in florida, 
wait a couple hours and it'll be down pouring AND be sweltering.

i have learned that we all come from different backgrounds
and no one should judge another because they don't know what the others are going through.

i have learned that I can do hard things.

being out here is hard.
it is the hardest thing i have ever done.
i miss my family.
i miss my friends.
i miss my puppy.
i miss my bed.
i miss my car.
i miss respect.
i miss a lot.

i have been considering coming home lately.
work stinks and i can go home and
get paid more and like my job more.
the busses to work are the WORST.
i'm not allowed to play tinkerbell because i'm college program.
i don't want to extend til next June--
but do i want to go home?
or do i want to stay?

having my family,
friends at home,
and friends here
giving me encouragement makes this worth it.
to know they support me no matter what
is the best thing in the world.

obviously i am here for a reason at this time.
and i surely don't believe it's just so i can go home.
if i were to have given up and gone home,
i should have done that my first day of hating this--
not a month into it.

and who knows?
maybe i'll change my mind and go home later.
but how can i go home
without trying my hardest to stay here until january?
how can i go home knowing i will regret that decision
and wish to come back and finish the program.

do i love the program?
no way.
would i ever suggest college program to anyone?
not without telling them my experience.
am i going to go home because of the big things?
or am i going to stick it out
because of the small happy things i find every day?

i need to look at the positive more
and less at the negative.
i love florida.
my roommates rock
(even when we don't get along..).
i am surrounded by foreigners who tell me i'm beautiful.
i have some cool coworkers
(among the ones i don't like so much).
i get to go to the disney parks for free.
i can lay out at the pool any time i feel like it.
i get to see amazing shows.
do i get to be in them??
not yet.
but maybe someday.


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